I woke at 4:00 am to the sound of a harmony of birds outside our bedroom window. The pool man was turned towards me on his side, all snuggled into the feather blanket we use for warmth. The window was cracked open so a faint breeze nestled through the room. I rolled over to check the time, 4:01 am and as I snuggled back into my warm little spot a sweet little kick reminded me that a sweet soul is still growing and being nurtured in my tummy. I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep for another hour or so....
As the sound of the alarm rang out, I was reminded that today, today is my last day of work for 5 months. Today at 3:00 I join the ranks of other stay at home moms. I no longer get up before the sunrise. I will no longer make a 30 minute trip to work, feeling groggy and wishing the day away. I will be home with my punk and soon a wee one that will both need my attention at the same time, and I will be learning and making mistakes daily that will only in the end enhance this notion of family.
Today marks the last Thursday we will be a family of 3. On Thursday, April 14th the pool man and I will wake up together around 5:30 am, roll out of bed, and give each other a sincere gaze with no words to be exchanged, pull on our comfy clothes which means my hair will most definitely be in a pony tail, sneak into our punks room for one last kiss and I love you, before we pile into the car and head for the hospital to meet our newest member of the family.
As I type these words, I get a wee bit teary eyed, as the last 4 years have been filled with so much magic and love for our punk, that I am not sure how I will love another baby with the same passion and affection, but I have been told it comes naturally, so I am leaning on that notion with all my heart.
We loaded the baby's carseat into my 4-Runner over the weekend, and my sweet little boy was excited to learn that the baby will be sitting right next to him in his big boy seat. I am hopeful that his excitement and love for his new little brother will continue once he is really here....
Last night I was completely worn out, with a cold lingering and lack of energy, my mom took on the task of getting my son into bed, which these days has been a chore as he has become the world's biggest procrastinator when it comes to bed time. He drags himself up to the stairs telling me he is too tired to walk with his blanket with the one really worn corner that comforts little souls trailing between his legs. He marches down the hall after a strenuous trek up the stairs and flings himself onto his bed, we follow closely behind him...I left his room to go and brush my teeth, while brushing my teeth I snuck back into his room, and watched as he teetered on his stool in front of the sink telling grandma that he is getting all the sugar bugs out of his teeth while intently staring at himself in the mirror. He drags himself back to bed after a good rinse with water and we go through the ritual of hugs and kisses and then more hugs and kisses....and as I turn the light off after grandma, I turn to blow a kiss his way. He blows one back at me and says, "momma, save my kisses"...and I proclaim in a soft voice, I love you baby and I will keep your kisses in my pocket!
These are the times I cherish the sweet little memories that flood my mind continuously, that keep me afloat most days, and as I closed his door, I think to myself soon there will be 2...2 x the kisses, 2 times the hugs, and 2 x the amount of love to go around....and as I walk the 4 steps from his room to mine, crawl into bed and find a comfortable postion for both me and baby, I give the wee on a rub and pull a kiss from my pocket just for him and fall to sleep within two minutes of my head hitting the pillow.
Today....today is the beginning of new journey, and I think I am finally ready!
Blessings from this sentimental blondie to you~
P.S. My son is now 3.5 months seizure free while off his medicine, each day we make it through is a blessing and I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has prayed for him, and kept him in your thoughts, for that I am grateful!
Be back soon as a mommy of 2...ekk!
Oh how I miss you sweetie! What a wonderful post! Savor the MOMENTS ahead!
Posted by: northern cottage | April 07, 2011 at 09:32 AM
Mama Tara... I am thinking of you today and smiling. Your cup is about to overflow and that is happiness intended for you! xoxo
Posted by: lisa ann | April 07, 2011 at 09:35 AM
save my kisses.... precious :) That is the sweetest thing I have heard all day.
xoxo
Posted by: Michelle | April 07, 2011 at 10:26 AM
"sugar bugs"....so cute :) I meant to check in on you yesterday - I have been thinkin about ya! So glad to see your words and to know that you are going to be taking a "staycation" at home with your boys :)
Enjoy your last week with your firstborn....XOX
So happy for the Punk's milestone! That is awesome :)
Posted by: Lolo | April 07, 2011 at 10:32 AM
So happy and excited for you, Tara. Enjoy all the sweet and precious moments before baby #2 and after. Soon, your belly is going to get smaller and your heart is going to grow bigger :)
Posted by: Zita - Mlle Magpie | April 07, 2011 at 11:08 AM
So happy your boy is seizure free, amen!!
As for your little, little guy...You will be amazed at how your heart will grow!! So excited for you.
Xo Jen
Posted by: Jen | April 07, 2011 at 01:38 PM
I remember those same feelings and can reassure you, with confidence, that there is plenty of love to go around. Soon you'll be full of love for both your punks and won't remember this time when it was hard to imagine loving another little being as much as you love your first. Just like magic. I promise!
Glad to hear you'll be able to stay at home and enjoy those boys for awhile. Enjoy and GOOD LUCK next week!!!
Posted by: Kacey | April 07, 2011 at 02:12 PM
Tara
May your heart overflow with the love as your family grows by one. My prayer are with you always and keeping you close to my heart. So happy that little punk is doing so well off of the medication.
Can't wait to read all about your journey
love you
Kate
Posted by: kate | April 07, 2011 at 04:04 PM
Your sweet boy is coming on the one-year birthday of my sweet grandbaby Laciee!
I'm sure many mama's have told you this already, but you'll be amazed at how overwhelming the love grows when you new little one is born... there is no greater and more powerful love than what we have for our children... it takes my breath away sometimes...
So happy for you and your family, congrats!
Posted by: Mikal | April 07, 2011 at 04:14 PM
SO happy to see you here. I miss your posts. Also so very happy that your wee one is coming so soon. Lots of love to you and your family.
Zizette
Posted by: Zizette | April 07, 2011 at 06:19 PM
there are so many wonderful things in this post...you have filled me up completely. Glad to hear the good news and am SO HAPPY for you to be off work. I remember how much I cherished every minute. Enjoy my sweet friend.
Posted by: Tara | April 07, 2011 at 07:52 PM
Oh Tara I just love you. Your tender heart. Your sweet spirit! I remember feeling very similar to this when I had little chick. I was so looking forward to her, but I knew everything would be different and I felt a little worried about my big chick. Would she feel as special anymore, would it forever change our close bond?? I'm here to tell ya it doesn't. Amazing how God gives us more than enough love for all our sweeties. This sibling gift will be just that, a gift. It's so amazing to give them a life long friend. I'll be thinking about you this week. Can't wait to meet your newest member:)
Posted by: Becky @ Farmgirl Paints | April 08, 2011 at 06:38 AM
It is so true. In that instant the new baby comes out your heart expands to include this miracle. I didn't think it could possibly happen, but it did. I still remember that feeling of my heart bursting to beyond its old boundaries. My littlest one is now 25!
Best of luck!
A Fellow SC'er!
Posted by: Leeayn | April 08, 2011 at 07:51 AM
Yay! Freedom! I am so happy for you as you head into 5 months "off". What a journey it will be for all of you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. And what they tell you is true -- your heart magically expands to include your new babies. It's an amazing and wonderful thing! (: Blessings to you!
Amy
Posted by: Amy | April 08, 2011 at 08:54 AM
You will so rock the mommy of two gig ; o )
Posted by: brighton | April 08, 2011 at 06:00 PM
Oh my your post has brought me to tears! I'm very happy for your family and look forward to your post with your new little one. I think your post hit home because I have a little boy who just turned three years old and all the special little moments make me so happy but sad that he is growing up. We are also trying very hard to have another little one.
Congratulations on 3 1/2 months seizure free, I hope your little punk never has to experience another.
Posted by: Amelia Gray | April 11, 2011 at 01:41 PM
Tara dont know if you will see this but I know tomorrow is your big day and I am wishing you much health & happiness and cannot wait to see pics of your new little one! ~Hugs~ and prayers for a safe & easy delivery!!
Posted by: JerriR | April 13, 2011 at 07:22 PM
Thinking of you today : o )
Posted by: brighton | April 14, 2011 at 03:25 AM
hello sweet tara!! your punk is the sweetest. save my kisses! that melts my heart.
i hope your new little one's "birth" day is full of sunshine. xoxo
Posted by: heather | April 14, 2011 at 11:46 AM
So excited for you Tara! Today is your little ones birthday! Praying that you and the little guy are doing great! Enjoy your new little man and everyday of your time away from work! So happy for your family!
Posted by: Ali | April 14, 2011 at 02:41 PM
Tara....I love this post - and praying for you and your sweet smile...of 4 now!!!! Hugs and I can't wait to hear how it all went. Email me!!! Xoxoxo
Posted by: Tract | April 15, 2011 at 07:26 AM
congrats for a speedy and safe arrival
we are all cheering you on
Posted by: Pearl Maple | April 16, 2011 at 12:23 AM
Oh love, enjoy your last week as a threesome. I am so very happy for you all! Your heart will soon grow beyond a measure that you could ever have imagined.
Sending big, huge, gigantor hugs, my friend.
xo*t
p.s. So, so happy to hear that the punk is doing so well off of his meds. Yay! Give him a high five for me. K?! ;)
Posted by: tricia | April 16, 2011 at 12:48 PM
love hearing from you....I've taken a blogging break, so it's great to catch up!!!
Praise God for your precious punk being seizure free!!!
Posted by: Tara | April 22, 2011 at 06:49 PM
i wish i had seen this sooner. i'm hoping you are home and all happy and healthy with a new little baby in your arms. i'm sure you'll be busy, know that i think of you often, sending you hugs, susan
Posted by: susan | April 27, 2011 at 05:02 PM