Dear Horomones,
Enough is enough already!!
I can't take you anymore since you went into overdrive 7.5 months ago.
Because of you I about ripped the pool man's head off Sunday and low and behold I might have told him he was acting like an A**hole, which was clearly not the case as the finger should have been pointed directly at me. And then I felt like crying for being so mean...the pool man is about to move into the garage to sleep with the dog...the dog gets him right now, I don't.
You have invaded my life like a freight train with a one way ticket, and unfortunately I know you aren't leaving anytime soon, and well that pisses me off.
Because of you, I got mad at the dog for chewing on his bone to loud while I was trying to have some down time watching Grey's Anatomy, and because of you, my son repeated the words, "what the heck" with a very dramatic "ugh" at the end as he tried to move something to get to the light switch. I have no idea where he got that kind of language, or drama for that matter, really I don't!
Because of you, I have to check the mirror every 5 minutes hoping a new little pimple hasn't shown its little face. Because of you, some days I just want to implode because I think it would just make everyone a little more at ease around my house, there would be less walking around on pins and needles...I am gaining a reputation at home that is well, how do you put it...Nasty.
And if I get word that you are in "cahoots" with the nesting phase of pregnancy I'm really gonna be pissed, because apparently nothing can be clean enough and I almost thought about re-painting the whole entire house a soft grey/blue....until I fell asleep after tripping over the most annoying cat that won't leave me or my giant stomach alone...she is just as annoying as you hormones.
"What the heck, ughhh"....
Hormones you have made your way into my life and the only reason I am allowing this one way ticket, is because at the end of the day I know a sweet bundle of joy will be laid down in my arms, after I spend 36 hours pushing and yelling, and cursing just about every single person who is in the delivery room, and if the pool man opens his mouth for some words of encouragement while I am trying to get a small mellon though an even smaller hole, I might just deck him. I think he knows better though. On the other hand, my OBGYN is kinda mouthy, and i fear he doesn't know any better...so I might just deck him instead.
So Hormones, I just wanted to let you know I don't care for you in the slightest bit. You are an unwelcome guest in my home. Therefore, don't think about taking your shoes and off and getting comfy in my residence, don't leave your toothbrush on the counter, your dirty socks by the couch, or your bills in piles on my desk, nothing you do is safe around me. Therefore, in your best interest you better find a way to get out of here ASAP after my sweet punk has arrived safe and sound, honestly it's for your own safety.
You can thank me later.
Signed:
AKA~ one pissy 7.5 month pregnant girl about to loose her mind if one more person asks her if she is due any day!
P.S. oh and hormones if you feel like being useful, why don't you use your efforts into making my ta ta's a wee bit bigger, thankssomuch!
