Dear Horomones,
Enough is enough already!!
I can't take you anymore since you went into overdrive 7.5 months ago.
Because of you I about ripped the pool man's head off Sunday and low and behold I might have told him he was acting like an A**hole, which was clearly not the case as the finger should have been pointed directly at me. And then I felt like crying for being so mean...the pool man is about to move into the garage to sleep with the dog...the dog gets him right now, I don't.
You have invaded my life like a freight train with a one way ticket, and unfortunately I know you aren't leaving anytime soon, and well that pisses me off.
Because of you, I got mad at the dog for chewing on his bone to loud while I was trying to have some down time watching Grey's Anatomy, and because of you, my son repeated the words, "what the heck" with a very dramatic "ugh" at the end as he tried to move something to get to the light switch. I have no idea where he got that kind of language, or drama for that matter, really I don't!
Because of you, I have to check the mirror every 5 minutes hoping a new little pimple hasn't shown its little face. Because of you, some days I just want to implode because I think it would just make everyone a little more at ease around my house, there would be less walking around on pins and needles...I am gaining a reputation at home that is well, how do you put it...Nasty.
And if I get word that you are in "cahoots" with the nesting phase of pregnancy I'm really gonna be pissed, because apparently nothing can be clean enough and I almost thought about re-painting the whole entire house a soft grey/blue....until I fell asleep after tripping over the most annoying cat that won't leave me or my giant stomach alone...she is just as annoying as you hormones.
"What the heck, ughhh"....
Hormones you have made your way into my life and the only reason I am allowing this one way ticket, is because at the end of the day I know a sweet bundle of joy will be laid down in my arms, after I spend 36 hours pushing and yelling, and cursing just about every single person who is in the delivery room, and if the pool man opens his mouth for some words of encouragement while I am trying to get a small mellon though an even smaller hole, I might just deck him. I think he knows better though. On the other hand, my OBGYN is kinda mouthy, and i fear he doesn't know any better...so I might just deck him instead.
So Hormones, I just wanted to let you know I don't care for you in the slightest bit. You are an unwelcome guest in my home. Therefore, don't think about taking your shoes and off and getting comfy in my residence, don't leave your toothbrush on the counter, your dirty socks by the couch, or your bills in piles on my desk, nothing you do is safe around me. Therefore, in your best interest you better find a way to get out of here ASAP after my sweet punk has arrived safe and sound, honestly it's for your own safety.
You can thank me later.
Signed:
AKA~ one pissy 7.5 month pregnant girl about to loose her mind if one more person asks her if she is due any day!
P.S. oh and hormones if you feel like being useful, why don't you use your efforts into making my ta ta's a wee bit bigger, thankssomuch!
You are a hoot! Hormones are nothing to mess around with. It's serious business what they do to your emotions. BIG HUGS! It will all be over before you know it and you'll have that bundle of joy to snuggle in with. BTW I have soft gray blue walls and love love them. Don't think about doing anything crazy now, but if you need the paint color later just ask:)
Posted by: Becky @ Farmgirl Paints | February 08, 2011 at 08:46 AM
oh those stinking hormones! they make life so darn difficult! My ta ta's never got very big when I was pregnant or even while I was breast feeding. It was highly disappointing! Oh and I had someone rub my belly and say "oh! you're pregnant again already??" when emma was only 5 weeks old. ugh! give a girl a chance to lose the weight!
I'm sure you look so beautiful!
bye bye mones!
Posted by: lissa | February 08, 2011 at 08:59 AM
AAAHHHHH, hormones, gotta love them!!! You need to post a picture so we can see how adorable you look pregnant!!
Posted by: Diana Thompson | February 08, 2011 at 09:00 AM
thank you so much for my mid-day laugh! i got giddy when I saw you on my sidebar with a new post!
your honesty is always refreshing.
the worst thing that ever happened to me in my first pregnancy was when a much older man came up to me in the mall when I was one week late and as big as a barn and began to rub my belly. like he knew me.
yeah. that poor soul definitely got a piece of my hormone raging attitude.
it'll be over soon enough...and we'll get to meet that new precious punk of yours.
Posted by: Tara | February 08, 2011 at 09:03 AM
Oh Tara...
I want to be there to give you an understanding look, gently pat your back and give you that simple one shoulder squeeze that says, "It's O.K... you'll get through this!". BUT, I'm too busy laughing!!
Growing greatness isn't easy... forgive yourself and all "the moments". You and your body are working so hard right now. xoxo Lisa ann
Posted by: Lisa ann | February 08, 2011 at 09:22 AM
Haha....the crazy hormone switch. It goes on and off whenever it feels like it! Just find the dimmer switch and you will all be ok ;)
Our poor bodies take a beating, dont they?!
Loved seeing you on here - gotta get it all out sista!!
XOX
ps - im sure you are the cutest beer bellied gal ever ;)
Posted by: Lolo | February 08, 2011 at 09:37 AM
Well, allllllrighty then! Do you feel better now? :o)
Honestly, Pool Man understands, and the big punk will forget those drama days soon enough once he has a little brother!
Praying those nasty hormones leave you alone for a while! Becky G. in GA
Posted by: Becky G. | February 08, 2011 at 10:20 AM
OMG LMAO and loving this post to death....
The End!!
Hopes for better days and less complicated hormones sweets!
Posted by: D'Nese | February 08, 2011 at 12:19 PM
Oh my gosh! You are so funny! I feel ya girl! I have a twelve day old and thought that those nasty hormones had left the building! Oh, no they are back with reinforcements! Don't know whether to laugh or cry, and my poor family is having to deal with it all. Thank God they haven't decided to leave yet! Hope your hormones give you a break real soon!
Posted by: Ali | February 08, 2011 at 12:28 PM
Oh sweetie i know hormones just suck! hang tight, you are so close to being finished with them! and of course new ones will arrive but lets not go there now! I adore your home so walk away from the paint! heehee sending you tons of LOVE, hugS, best wishes and good foot rubs!!!!!
xo,
LuLu
Posted by: LuLu | February 08, 2011 at 03:17 PM
Oh Tara! I moved my oldest(28),I'm not that much old then you, to Jacksonville Fl. last weekend. You just wait! I ended up staying 2 days with just a toothbrush. I wanted girls, be careful what you wish for. This is a tough time for you but it's all worth it.
I wish I had a blog when I was pregnant!
Thank you for sharing and please keep us posted.
Posted by: KarenSue | February 08, 2011 at 03:33 PM
oh you poor girl!! LOL!! i am SO sorry...totally know what you are going through...ugh...ta-ta's and all...at least you have the excuse of pregnancy and there may be an end in sight...i think it is hopeless for me!! :0)
big prairie xo
kristin
Posted by: faded prairie | February 08, 2011 at 05:05 PM
Oh those 'mones.....
I have 'mones moments like that and I'm not even prego! ;) SSSHhh, don't tell my husband that it should only happen when you're prego ;)
LOVED hearing from you today - Allegra is going to be in town this weekend - want to flea with us? Burn off some hormone steam (and some shopping-therapy?)
xoxo
Posted by: Tracy | February 08, 2011 at 06:43 PM
Oh honey, anyone who has had a baby has been exactly where you are right now. Don't be too hard on yourself (even though it sucks).
Just stay focused on that itty bitty punk that will make it all worth it.
xo*t
Posted by: Tricia | February 09, 2011 at 06:46 AM
Oh honey, I can soooo relate! No, I am NOT PG, I'm 53, pre-menopausal, and could bite the head off of anyone who even looks at me wrong on most given days. I know this too shall pass, just like your feelings that you are going through right now. Oh the joys of being a woman! I'm sure that you look absolutely beautiful girl. hang in there, Marcia
Posted by: marcia | February 09, 2011 at 07:18 AM
you are too funny. thanks for brightening my day and making me laugh. xo!!
Posted by: Traci | February 09, 2011 at 08:57 AM
How did you sneak this one by me... I may have actually been working that day! heehee!
A few more months and these crazy hormones will leave... they may let a whole other set in though... whooppss... you probably don't want to hear that. Oh well, by then, you can have a beer and feel so much better.
xoxox
Posted by: Michelle | February 10, 2011 at 04:24 PM
oh my, sweet girl. you'll be ok it's annoying though, isn't it? ignore all those comments people just don't think sometimes! i had this one girl that would say (in front of all the other parents at pick up)"wow you are really popping!" and i'd just look at her with this blank stare and think yep i am! sending big hugs!! suz
Posted by: susan | February 11, 2011 at 04:15 PM
Ha! Keep hanging in there! xo
Posted by: Julie | February 12, 2011 at 12:27 AM
Nothing unusual about what you've described my dear - hold onto the thoughts of that babe inside. I rage every so often and don't have the same happy excuse. The Adele song was a perfect accompaniment to your post which was filled with familiarity! xoxo
Posted by: Tara | February 12, 2011 at 05:12 AM
i love this blog...your writing is so quirky and truthful and hilarious. just when i needed it too. :)
oh and i completely sympathize with the preg. hormones. i was PSYCHOTIC when pregnant. makes me scared/hesitant to ever do it again.
Posted by: Brittany | February 13, 2011 at 03:10 PM
You're so funny, Tara. Hang in there, girl. That baby's going to come out soon enough :)
Posted by: Zita - Mlle Magpie | February 14, 2011 at 01:10 PM
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I love you, what the heck, ugh
Posted by: Dandy | February 14, 2011 at 10:41 PM
Oh my gosh girl...You are a total hoot. I love it, and every bit of it's so true. Gosh darn hormones, I hate em' too. Hang in there, that sweet bundle will make it all better. Hugs and prayers - Carrie
Posted by: The vintage wren | February 23, 2011 at 08:01 PM
Hi,
I just have a quick question, could you email me back when you get a chance please?
Posted by: Christina Johnson | March 01, 2011 at 08:28 AM