A few weeks ago, I received an e-mail from my mom.
As I opened the e-mail and read the words before me, my eyes filled with tears and I was suddenly burdened by a small hole that resides in my heart.
A tiny hole that was not always there but over the years has grown in depth.
A tiny hole in my heart that I cover up with sarcastic remarks to others when they ask.
A hole that once was filled with a brother, is now filled with more emotions then one should have to handle...
As I read the words a small tear fell off my chin.
I closed the e-mail.
Wiped the tear away.
And, took a deep breath.
I called my mom and as she answered the phone, I could tell she was upset...
We chatted for a while about the e-mail and about who my brother used to be and as I hung up, I realized that my mom has lost a child.
My mom has a child that wants nothing to do with her.
With my dad.
With me.
And, now with my son.
I have a brother that lives a life of secret from us, his family.
The days have gone by.
Years have made their marks, but in life...
I have realized I am affected by the people that come and go,
Whether there for a short period of time or for the long haul.
As I raise my son to be a good person, to love others, and to appreciate those who take care of him...
I can't help but think of my mom and how she must feel, as she put the same effort into her son as I do my own...
And, now...she has no idea of the life he leads.
As we sit on the aftermath of Christmas and now into a New Year...
I can't help but think of my mom and my dad, who have to keep on going, keep on living, keep on smiling, even though their holidays, their days are minus one.
As the days pass with my son,
I vow to cherish every moment with him, every single day, year, mile stone and miracle.
As I know one day he will choose his own path, his own way...
I pray that he chooses to keep me & the pool man in his life...
I pray he chooses to be the son my brother never was.
I hope your 2010 is filled with all the wonderful people that have left an impression on your life for the long haul...
Remember in this new year...
To let go of the things that drag you down...
To draw from those who love you unconditionally...
And, to do something good for yourself here and there, you deserve it!
Much love and Sweet Blessings for a new year~
{photos from this wonderful Etsy Store}
Life is like a roller coaster....
You are never quite sure of the ups and downs but if you hold on tight you eventually make it to the finish line.







